meditations

Did lots of photography on my recent visit to the french beach. The weather was awesome and for a change there was this wonderful green patch grown on the rocks.
This is a possible CD cover for my bro's album.

running in circles

I kept running around in circles. until the day i realized that it wasnt the journey that made me keep coming back to the same place, it was something within me which had stopped looking at the world the way it should be experienced.
Since then every day is a new journey and even when I retrun to the same place, its a new journey, a new destination each time.

note: original photo at the triple layered bridge bifercating east and west wharf

teri yaad

teri yaad, aaye jub mujhko

main laut aaon ga

woh bheegi raat

aur baarish bondain

main bheeg jaon ga

by myself

By Myself


If I turn my back I'm defenseless
And to give in to fate seems senseless
If I hide my pride and let it all go on
Then they'll take from me 'til everything is gone
If I let them go
I'll be outdone
But if I try to catch them
I'll be outrun
If I'm killed by the questions like a cancer
Then I'll be buried in the silence of the answer...

the day i was born.. again

....since then, I am at peace with my self. Pain keeps no meaning for me, and the acquisition of material things have long been considered a young man's sport. Many a night I spent traveling treacherous terrain until I came upon the place I had seen in my dreams. For miles on end there was no object of the creation of man and the only sound to be heard was that of the birds in the morning sky or of the tiny brook scampering along the valley floors in the quite night. From then on I knew not what date or day it was nor cared about when the sun rose or moon shined. All that my worldly possessions comprised of were my clothes and a small bronze bracelet given by a dear friend. So like a man who has no possessions, roams the land of god like one who has nothing to lose, I lost track of time and also the desire to fear the loss of material things. Far from the rules created by man which bound him in chains, I led a life which few would have cherished. There were days when I had to go without food or water but that did not create as much as an inkling of doubt in my mind about my purpose in life. I had always believed that every man was given a gift by god, probably this was the gift that god had given me.
My only concern was to decipher the will of god and to find out why god created the world the way as it was. Since eternity I had heard that the world was a perfect place and that the way it worked always remained in equilibrium. But I always doubted the way god ran the world. I spent hours on end trying to discover the meaning of life and to find out where all the pain, the suffering, the discontent fit into this 'perfect world'. If all men were created equal, why then were some men more equal than others?
My inhibitions about leaving the world of man were far and many and for many a year I had planned this day in my mind. I knew it would be a day my world would explode. The unanswered questions in my mind were bound to drive me crazy some day. In my dreams I had already visualized the day, the day I would be called a mad man, the day people who knew me would tell others that I had just died. But who would tell them that death is not an end but a beginning. And on the day I just got up and then to the world I, and I to the world, was no more....

stolen quiz

[Name] Tamseel
[Nicknames] tams
[Screen name] illuxon
[Birthday] 20th March
[Astrological sign?] Aries
[Location] By the Sea (thats all that matters)
[Marital Status] Single
[Eye color] Black
[Height] 5'9"
[Shoe size] 9
[Siblings] 1 sister, 1 brother
[Nieces/Nephews?] One
[Kids of your own?] None
[Grandkids?] Nah
[Pets?] No
[Education?] MBA
[Rent, lease, or own your home?] None
[Have any credit cards?] Yea, 2
[What do you drive?] Mehran


Favorites
[ Color ] Red, Black
[ Numbers ] None
[ Animal ] Rabbits
[ Vehicle ] BMW Williams (Formula 1)
[ Flower ] Daisies
[ Scent ] Issey Miyake, Polo Sport, Cool Water Deep
[ Shape ] Ahem Ahem.. *wink*
[ Drinks ] Portoguese Lemonade
[ Soda ] Mountain Dew
[ Book ] Kane and Abel
[ Food ] Flamed Grilled Chicken (Nandos)

Do you?
[ Color your hair? ] Oh Puhleeeeeez, No
[ Twirl your hair? ] No
[ Have tattoos? ] No
[ Cheat on tests/homework? ] Never had to
[ Drink/Smoke? ] Nah
[ Like roller coasters? ] Yes
[ Wish you could live somewhere else? ] Wanna bet
[ Like cleaning? ] not at all
[ Swear a lot? ] depends on the company
[ Own a web cam? ] No
[ Know how to drive? ] Yeah
[ Diet? ] Too many new year resolutions, too little action
[ Own a cell phone? ] Yeah
[ Ever get off the damn computer? ] only to sleep

Have you ever...
[ Gotten a speeding ticket?] i would if they could catch me
[ Been in a wreck? ] yea kind of
[ Been arrested? ] Not yet
[ Stolen anything? ] no
[ Held a gun? ] Yes
[ Drank? ] yes, only twice
[Considered a life of crime? ] no way
[ Been in love? ] I might have been, but i guess it wasnt love
[ Used someone? ] never had to
[ Been used? ] yea lots of times
[ Been cheated on? ] No

Current...
[Mood] Hyper, Bored
[Taste] Chocolate
[Annoyance] Gotta get out of this glut. Cant run away :)
[Smell] My brother's CK 1
[Thing I ought to be doing] Gotta go for a walk
[Windows open] Microsoft Word, Notepad, Deviantart, Internet Explorer
[Desktop picture] Batman Begins
[Book] The Pilgrimage - Paulo Coelho
[Hate] Being on the computer at this time
[Job] Strategic Planner at Ad Agency

The last time
[Last book you read] The Herem Within - Fatima Mernressi
[Last movie you saw] I Robot
[Last thing you had to drink] Tea
[Last thing you ate] Paratha with Nihari
[Last person you talked to on the phone] A collegue at work

Do you...
[Do drugs?] Nope
[Have a dream that keeps coming back?] i used to but cant remember dreams anymore
[Believe there is life on other planets?] indifferent
[Remember your first love?] ofcourse
[Still love him/her?] i wud if i knew what love meant
[Read the newspaper?] not that often (hate myself for that)
[Believe in miracles?] Depends
[Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?] its stupid to think so
[Consider yourself tolerant of others?] not at all
[Consider love a mistake?] no
[Have a favorite candy?] m&ms, skittles, mentos
[Believe in astrology?] sometimes
[Believe in magic?] sometimes
[Believe in God?] ummm.. errr... i guess so
[Wear hats?] sometimes.. i love fedora hats
[Hate yourself?] most of the time
[Have an obsession?] tell me about it :D
[Have a secret crush?] Many
[Do they know yet?] wudnt be a secret if they did =P
[Collect anything?] songs, movies, books
[Have a best friend?] Yeah
[Close friends?] umm .. how close?
[Like your handwriting?] yea
[Care about looks?] Very often (hate myself for it)

Love life
[Single or attached?] Single
[Do you believe in love at first sight?] BS.. thats not love
[Do you believe in "the one?"] nah